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Balm in troubled times

WFMU’s Beware of the Blog links to a performance of the Finnish Complaints Choir: “Finnish artists Tellervo Kalleinen and Oliver Kochta-Kalleinen collected the pet peeves and angst-ridden pleas of people in Helsinki and then composed this choral work around the list of complaints…”, a 24MB download and I swear, worth every minute of the wait.

Appallingly clever

Many of us know about these excruciations on “That’s amore”…


Somehow this one fell into my ummmm mind as I was shopping yesterday (no apologies for some relaxation of the algorithmical constraints):

When a third of your herd
Hits the dust all at once [well, all at oncet]
That’s a murrain

I sent that to my friend Ken, who was able to retrieve (from his email archive) a set constructed a few years ago:

When your chicken is tossed
in a chocolate sauce
that’s a mole

At the bris there’s the trick
when the guy trims your dick
that’s a mohel

Take 2 cups Bechamel
add some cheese you can’t smell
that’s Sauce Mornay

(and this one is only locally comprehensible, being about the river that flows by Lexington VA):

Float from Goshen to James
with Confederate Dames
that’s the Maury

a refinement to the Maury one:

It has Matthew Fontaine’s
name from Goshen to James
that’s the Maury
(Matthew Fontaine Maury –19th century Father of Naval Oceanography)

another culinary one:

A chestnut glacée
if you say en Français
that’s a marron

and for the ornithologist:

Auk! it’s no puffin I know
Can’t pronounce ‘guillemot’
it’s a murre

and today Ken contributes:

When a native you see
On the coast of New Z
….