Brian put it beautifully: I am still in the process of scratching and clawing my way out of the black box that came my way.

There seem to be several Black Boxes (not exhaustive or mutually exclusive), including

• degenerative diseases of body and mind
• painful/lingering deaths
• stoppages
• accidents
• by-own-hand
• peaceful deaths

This is stuff that's difficult to talk about, but there's surely a lot to be said about each of them, and Atul Gawande and Sherwin Nuland (How We Die: Reflections on Life's Final Chapter) are especially useful guides. Some can be palliated, some can be put off via medical intervention, but eventually...

If one could choose, surely the lattermost of that set would be most preferable. But the point is, one rarely has any choice. I've known several people who decided to end their lives by ceasing to eat and then to drink, which I take to be decisions expressive of great personal character and principle, and doubt that I would have the strength of will to undertake myself. In one case, a friend expressed herself as "really angry" with the decision, and I'm struggling to understand that feeling. The chance to to be clear about one's intentions with all concerned, and to bid farewell to friends and loved ones, seems an appropriate and respectful way to depart, and quite different from the suicide that leaves vast ragged edges for those friends and loved ones to cope with.

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(go to Start page, to The Hole Left Behind, No Where,
to Preparation, to Realizations, to Modalities)