octogenarian reckoning

...seems to be a expression I coined to describe my not-autobiography enterprise of explaining myself to myself. Google finds just one occurrence of the two words in conjunction, but 'reckoning' is a verb... I mean 'reckoning' as a noun.

Somewhere here there's space to consider attitude, noting the dangers of Solipsism Wikipedia and Solipsism etymonline

and exploring the desirability of self deprecatory as personal style

AI Overview
Self-deprecating means trying to make oneself, one's abilities, or achievements seem less important. It involves disparaging or undervaluing oneself, often through humor, to appear modest or to downplay one's successes.

John suggested adding a 'w' to 'reckoning'