Do Toads Hold On With Their Thumbs?

(A prenuptial ditty in honour of D. P. Toews, crafted for the occasion [30-odd years ago] by Pogo. Written for and first performed at a memorably Beyond-the-Pale bachelor party for Dan [known in some quarters as "Dr. Toads", in recognition of his work with Bufo marinus]. It was hatched during half an hour spent in Acadia's Science Library, gathering terminology and growing more and more gleeful as rhymes piled up... I was delighted to learn from Dan that Bob Boutelier [Boots] remembered enough of the lyrics to sing it when the Spirit moved)

Do toads hold on with their thumbs?
Is it Bufo or Rana who comes
Equipped with two hooks
To pinion the ux
The better to cover her bum?

With her feet she whips slime to a froth
As hubby behind gets it off
The spawn comes in strings
And the humping toad sings
Do toads hold on with their thumbs?


Hyla up a tree
Rana in the pond
Bufo on the ground
Let's go down where it's slippery
And practise ovipary
Do toads hold on with their thumbs?
Salamanders do it at night in the spring
Under rocks, logs, in bogs or a well
In the chest of every Cryptobranchus
Is a little heart that hankers
To go down and bend a little hell

Every Scaphiopus hope-us
(And Pseudacris hopes in chorus)
When the vernal equinox comes
To hop to some pond and then get it on
Do toads hold on with their thumbs?


Necturus's gills are embellished with frills
And the newt's not notably shy
The Siren's a problem--
It doesn't seem to trouble 'em,
But you can't get between their hind legs if you try

Batrachian habits don't resemble those of rabbits
Amplexation seems to be enough for some
Nuptial horny asperities
Replace eternal verities
And they don't axolotl questions once they've come